Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones Movie Review

In celebration of the release of the new 'Star Wars' movie this December 17, we look back the previous installments of the franchise leading up to 'The Force Awakens', the seventh installment of the saga. To read our coverage, click here.

‘Attack of the Clones’ is an evidence that ‘The Phantom Menace’ is not an accident after all. Ahead of its theatrical release, the film is still being hyped by a lot of ‘Star Wars’ fans because there is a big chance Director George Lucas may have listened to those negative comments and backlash he received during Episode I. And yes, there are changes here that actually pays off but unfortunately for just one thing—Jar Jar Binks. The rest of the movie is essentially the same as ‘The Phantom Menace’ only does this have more action sequences, a simpler structure and a love story that shouldn’t really happened in the first place.

The movie’s first act deals with finding about the mystery assassin behind Padme’s plotted murder. The first attempt has her decoy bombed. The movie follows Padme complaining about all things instead of going into her psychological and emotional trauma about the incident. The film’s lack of emotional attachment to its characters just make the whole drama feel bland and as a viewer, you don’t know how to react because the script doesn’t want to expand on it. Instead it immediately moves forward without hanging on for a while. With this rushed storyline, the whole product becomes a literal mess because there are a lot of things unresolved here. Heck, even its title has nothing to do with the actual movie.

The second attempt of killing Padme is through space worms. Yes, WORMS. The classic Dr. No scene where James Bond was on the verge of being poisoned by a lethal spider did the same thing, but the big difference is that there was no actual tension here. A sense of danger enclosed in the whole plot. The chase sequence with Obi-Wan and an older Anakin that follows it was the only time where the scene actually became slightly exciting. The mystery here is how come Padme is sent to sleep in the most crowded part of the planet where cars flying around can actually see her laying down. Can her bodyguards or even the Republic place her on a less-populated area where no assassin can spot her? Having Jango Fett assign an assassin assign a worm to do the killing duty is just plain stupid. Can Jango do the killing himself, and blast off his jet pack to finish the plan immediately?

After two events that almost got her butt knocked out, Padme FINALLY was placed to go back to her home planet Naboo with Anakin as her escort. And thus, the romantic plot ensues. The Han-Leia love story in the original trilogy was terrifically developed because it was executed in a way that it doesn’t come off as cheesy. Han and Leia have two conflicting personalities that when it collides, there’s an unusual and weird-ly spark that occurred. But having Anakin and Padme have their own love story is just plain stupid. Aside from noticeable age differences, there was no chemistry at all even if you turn it upside down. I can at least give a damn about it if Anakin was paired with another person. The performances by both Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen has something to do with it also. Putting two negative aspects doesn’t constitutes a positive outcome, but even a bigger negative result. Math doesn’t apply here.

Having a younger Boba Fett in this movie just ruin the character completely. The mysterious aspect of Boba Fett is one of the greatest thing about the original trilogy that having his own backstory just spills all of it. And another thing is casting the least qualified child actor to play the character was the biggest mistake in this movie, but wait there’s more.

A big thing promised for this movie is Anakin Skywalker slowly giving in to the dark side. ‘Attack of the Clones’ didn’t dare to go for that story. For a prequel trilogy created for the sake of making a backstory about Anakin becoming Darth Vader, it’s pretty disappointing that the next movie is the only time where it actually go for it. Killing the captors who held her mother hostage is a sign, for sure. But is that it? It’s pretty ironic that main character was given the weakest arc.

‘Attack of the Clones’ goes way too long that in the end, none of it still makes that much sense. It is indeed the worst entry to this saga with all that love crap and Lucas retaining that awful dialogue from the last movie.

The geek rates it 1/10!

P.S.: So Jar-Jar is now a part of the legislative body? Bravo, George Lucas. Bravo!

NEXT: Revenge of the Sith